A LETTER TO HEAVEN

Each year on the 25th of April I write a poem. Although I didn't do this until a little boy came into my life and left it abruptly. I use to get so angry and longed for an answer of why. I have learned that those answers will come one day because everything happens for a reason even though we aren't always told right when we want to hear them.My son was having trouble couping with the loss of this truely unique little boy so he wrote a letter to god a while back. It touched me so much that i posted it publicly because he gave me an insight to how a child see's heaven and i thought everyone should be able to see it through his eyes. He believed that he could write a letter to god and while he was sleeping god would take it to heaven. I told him god may not take the letter but he could hear the words because they came from his heart. I some what left my son alone for him to write this letter (i saw bits and pieces when he asked me how to spell words)but i was so curious as to what it said and looked like that i took it from underneath his pillow. After reading it i was so overwhelmed i never put it back. Of course i think not putting it back was the best move because he woke up and checked for that letter and i didn't have the heart to tell him that it was me who took it. I told him a few months later it was me and he shrugged his sholders and said god still heard me because he can hear everything. So with this said i wrote my own poem as a letter to god. If a small child could believe why couldn't I? I've done some thinking because my son and I decided we would write letters each year and his doctors said it was a great idea. So now here is my letter this year.
Dear God,
This year its not a poem. Its much more special than that. I want to thank you god because this year is the first year my little boy didn't cry. He has found healing and no longer hurts thank you for that peace you gave him. He doesn't even need to write you a letter. Thank you for allowing my daughter to speak from her heart and to tell us about heaven through a four year olds heart and eyes, thank you for giving her comfort and letting her know she will see everyone again one day.I know that in heaven there is no suffering so i know you don't allow our loved ones to look down us while we cry however i do know that im never alone.In my darkest hours of despair heartache and sadness, even when i felt as if i couldn't walk you were there and you carried me. Since i know right now im not alone can you deliver a message for me? Please tell Andrew we all love him so much and the love he gave is enough to last our life time. I feel the love he left alone can heal a broken heart. Tell him he would be proud of his daddy, he is going to school and looking ahead into the future even though it is unkown what it holds. Tell him his grandpa is growing gardens and even when the storms weigh in he looks at the bright side and realizes that some of those veggies can be salvaged. There isn't a second that goes by he isn't thought of. Most of all tell him thank you for the memories he left here with us, i will never forget that its possible to eat buttons out of a cell phone, that an army crawl isn't that hard for a soilder, that you can shake your tailfeathers anywhere, that you can have a first kiss before your one years old, it only takes 2 seconds to completely clear off shelves of vcr tapes, and it only takes a smile to make someone realize their life has been changed in the best of ways. Thank you for listening to me.

Now that my letter is finished i feel there is something that needs to be said. If you don't believe in god your entitled to your beliefs, but i too am entitled to mine. I let Andrew's dad know that he could have the letter my son wrote. I sent it to him when he was out of state. He had moved from the area so i asked for the letter back from the caretaker of the mail at that time. The person swears that they never recieved that letter. The letter never came back to me.