Child support..........the twisted truth from someone who see's both sides.

Okay before many start bashing my blog first look with open eyes, next listen with your heart, and then even for those of you who just think I am insane, well I feel you may need to second guess your decisions you have made again this is just my opinion and due to freedom of speech i have the right to tell the world how i feel regardless if you agree with me or not. Soon for those of you who have no idea who I am you will know. At some point in life everyone has stopped to think to themselves and many of us ask ourselves this question "What have I truly done in my life to be proud of?" Sure many have college degree's.......but do you pursue the career and when you get into your office are you happy with the choices you have made, or the people you have had to step on to get there? sure some of you made it to where you are fairly but not many have i can assure you. Many of us only ask these questions when a doctor says that they have found something and it may not be good. Then you think to yourselves "hey i can be opinionated who cares if someone kills me now I am already dying." Well I will tell you now that i am in decent health and if i die for what i believe in, i will not die in vain. With all this said i have a story to tell you. In 2006 I divorced and i had a child in the marriage and entered the world of the court system in Florida. I won't get into the names of the organizations because # 1 it can get me sued and #2 it will defeat the purpose and waste your time. In 2007 I remarried and the man i remarried was also a part of this world. I had shared custody with my ex husband and residency of our child which was decided by my ex husband and myself. The same for my husband he has shared custody and visitation rights with his child. Your thinking awesome both parties get to spend time with their kids....give me time.......Now at first i received my child support directly from my ex-husband which went well until he found someone new who felt she should run the show. My ex then decided the amount he should pay wasn't right even when i printed up the court papers to prove the amount i said was right. Then i would mail the medical bills or try to give him a copy in person and he didn't want them. So eventually my son needed a surgery and when i asked for my ex husbands help which was his legal obligation agreed upon in the courts final hearing i was told pretty much oh well and to take him to court because he had a new family with a fiance and a baby on the way. The first thing you do is get angry because #1 the other parent knew they have a child to take care of before they decided to make another....i was livid. Our son no longer mattered. Not to mention our son has medical problems. So i took my ex husband to court and the court agreed he owed the x amount i had been trying to get him to mutually consent to paying. Next thing you know my child paid for what my ex and i had fought about in court. I called one night to tell my son goodnight and was cursed at (in the presence of our child) by my ex husbands new fiance. I guess her telling me they were engaged was suppose to upset me, it didn't i only cared about my son, what he was feeling hearing what he had heard her say. She started on a violent rampage constantly in front of our son. Our son didn't want to go to his dads anymore for good reason and i was powerless to stop it. He felt he was not allowed to love me. I would find myself exploding out my opinions in the open and sometimes in ear shot of our son. I had to eat my words of course and make it right because i wasn't going to make our son feel he had to choose who he could love to make me feel better. The other side though gave our son hell, he was not allowed to love who he wanted. Then i found our son was given items to eat he did not eat. He would throw up when he came home because his nerves were messed up and being fed food you don't eat for a whole weekend can do that to a child. Our son was suffering because my ex and i were no longer aloud to talk. i say this because when i remarried my ex was welcomed to call everyday and he did multiple times and to tell his son goodnight. When my ex found his new someone i had to call my ex mother in law to speak to our son. Shortly after my ex and I went to court because my ex petitioned the court to lower his child support. At first i was going to fight it tooth and nail because i felt our son would suffer. Instead I told the court yes lower it......the same day i got a call from my ex wanting to give up his rights which never happened. That was the last time myself or our child heard from him by phone and our son never went to have visitation with his father ever again because his father decided to walk away. Our child now holds his own hate and heartache from this and if asked these days about his dad he will tell you his step dad is his dad now. I make excuses for my ex husband so our son will not hate him until one day our son never mentioned him again. Before my first marriage ended i gave birth to a beautiful little girl, my husband and I had already separated and I moved on. To hear him tell it to the world i cheated on him which before it is said that is not true. We did however have problems in our marriage from the beginning practically so it was not a happy marriage and he and I both Knew it. So we separated ways and yes i got over him quickly, I moved on in a day so if I am guilty I am guilty but I had many reasons to move on, many of you will want to know what they are but they are very personal and very bad and i do not feel it would be right to go public with things that are the past and can hurt people emotionally or hurt a families name. In 2006 I had another child with my new companion who I married the next year and had another child with. This is one of those moments though where Karma kicks in. My new husband has an ex wife himself....we won't go into why he and his ex divorced but it wouldn't have any disrespect to him might i add. i got to see what it felt like to be on the other side. Not only did my husband and I take care of our children we have but he had to pay child support which i have no complaints. For a while everything went great. Until one day my husband lost his job. So I have my son from my first marriage i am financially providing for and 2 other children and my husbands child from his marriage to care for. His amount was over $500.00 a month........yeah that is a lot of money and it doesn't take that much to take care of a child when the other parent has a full time job and her biggest complaint is that they didn't have cable which could of fooled us with the satellite dish she had. We had a child with a developmental medical problem, and a baby with a heart problem. Before any one asks why did we have kids when it seems we couldn't take care of the ones we had......well my pregnancy's were during a time we were paying and everything was okay if we could of seen the future well my crystal ball was broken......its too late for what if's so lets just turn those into why bother's. So i know what your asking is........did you call the organizations and talk to them to see if they could work something out with you guys.......of course we did!!!!!!! The said go tell somebody who cares because we do this for the children not the ex spouse or you........even though your wonderful court papers say they are on the behalf of the custodial parent.........ha go figure! Yet they don't work for anyone but the child. Don't get me wrong these kids need to be taken care of. For those Custodial parents that the other parent has decided to walk away and not pay a dime......darn straight they should pay a bigger amount because they aren't doing anything with the child at all.......not seeing the child.......not paying for anything because they just don't want to......im for you........get em......and those are the people who deserve the title dead beat. No i won't add dad or mom to that because it swings both ways. In this state a non custodial parent can lose half of their paycheck and if they are married they lose 45%..........now think of your bills and let me tell you that you have to take care of your house payment, your grocery's, your light bill, your gas bill, ect........with that x amount of money.......maybe if your not living in poverty or middle class you can pay that.......by the way factor in a family of five to support on top of that.....yeah its b/s if you put yourself in their shoes.......for the rest of you who don't agree quit thinking of yourself or leave my blog cause you won't learn anything here......go spend your support on yourself instead of your child cause we are done. Then to top that off.....your paying this money and you see your child come to you in raggedy jeans and shirts 3 times to small........where is the money going??????? The kid eats $500.00 in grocery's WTF???????? But no instead u see your ex roll up in a car decked out with some idiotic saying that only makes sense to them that had to be professionally done which isn't a necessity cause your child doesn't need a pimped up ride that will never belong to them nor can they read let alone spell whatever that car actually says..........seriously no one gets it......Nor does the child need their parent to be all dressed up in designers to look for their new mate at their child's school...these schools might as well have flavor of the month bulletin boards....then those parents who have visitation........where is there child support??????? Cause all seriousness if you have a school age child.....you send that child to the non custodial parent every other weekend.......well if that weekend falls on wednesday's last day of school for the week you have that child until school starts up again........so technically you both have the children half and half...........why should they pay you when they have the child??????? Well thats because when i put my hand upon your hip when i dip you dip we dip.......yeah that song actually was about divorce and child support but most of all your wallet......nah not really but i think so! Or just think of this good ole saying wwgd........what would government do????? They have decided that if you throw money at your problems they eventually go away........well i tell you now my friends they are wrong.........your problem gets greedier and might as well be stalking you and they have help cause they have a organization saying give me all your monies or go to jail.......its like playing monopoly and life.......but from h e double hockey sticks.....its like the government owes china.......u know they keep bailing us out.......well what if they got an organization and we ticked em off one day and they said we want one trillion dollars in sixty days or your going to jail......what are they going to do.......make us pay American support??????? I just hope so.......and when the government calls them to work our a deal i hope they get told we don't represent either party but we are on the behalf of ourselves and we are only here to take your money cha ching!!!!!!!! But wait.......when i was an American there wasn't a American support do i still have to pay it? Wait i didn't ask for you to borrow the money what can i do?????? I hope i hear them say American support.......you should of thought about that before you decided to be born in America.......My point is half of the births in the world are unplanned. Another percentage are teenagers on a hormone trip. Another percentage unfortunately are rape victims. Another percentage are bar hoppers that don't know how to use protection birth control and condoms might i add. Then you have a small percentage that realizes a child will be a big deal and will have demanding needs and they decide long before that child is born all of the what ifs and they have a plan for whatever may come. Some of you are a part of domestic violence and i can't blame you for leaving......but i think bigger measures should be taken when it comes to having babies.......we should control it like we control credit cards......oh wait we don't.......but i don't see those who aren't paying off those debts go to jail.....i see them filing bankruptcy.......Instead what i see is parents going to jail.....losing time with their kids and all those children here is he or she didn't pay so they had to go.......or they did something wrong.....how is it that you did something wrong when you just didn't have the ability to pay? Why is it that many adults who can not pay and are being tracked down by their social security numbers, their ex's along with the opinions that come with them, which many try to destroy what ever life they have left, well those individuals are no longer here with us because they couldn't take the weight of the world or feeling like a failure to their child so they commit suicide......bet you won't bother them now. But what no one thinks about is that child loses a part of them.......over what???????? Money that one day we could be told no longer has any value. The world can come crashing down and then you can call your organization about the money........and they won't be there to answer the phone because money no longer has value.......it does nothing for them.....so who cares about you or your children......what are these battles doing to our kids???????? No one goes to court and comes out friendly.......if so you need to see a shrink or be commended on a job well done.......cause its not a bowl of peaches and no one is happy in the end..... child support should be fair........there should be organizations to help find jobs just for those people......if they don't want to work.......then again i say get em......but for those who are trying.....whether their ex thinks they are or not......as long as they can prove they are doing something......then yes they should be treated decent not like they are being treated now. I think the custodial parent should be showing proof of what is going to the child and what isn't.....because the way its all set up now isn't right......u can spend it on what ever and not prove it. Im proud to say every penny my ex has paid has been spent on our son........but honestly you shouldn't receive support for the months the child is spending with the non custodial parent because you don't have the child.......its as if you have switched roles with that parent and your the one visiting......quit messing up relationships with these kids and their parents....I'm not out to make anyone lose what they should have the right to be refunded but the system we are choosing is flawed badly. I am not racist and i have nothing against china or American's but i had to use something almost anyone can understand......people need to wake up and realize your children are not paychecks or leverage...they grow up and learn from us.......what are we teaching them? I also think the parents that cheated on their spouse and ruined their relationship themselves and wants to change things when they get caught.....well that should be able to be used against them in these hearings if it can be proven. If your not happy with someone leave them.....before you decide to get in bed with someone else...i think it should be harder to get married........their should be tests done to see if you even have a chance by someone licensed to give it.......step parents should be treated with respect because after all this isn't their child but they love it and care for it when technically they don't have to and if they don't well there are laws that can fix that if they are doing harm to the child......if they have opinions about you well get over yourself and they should do the same. No one is happy with the significant other that their ex finds..........its human nature.....but don't bring the kid along for the ride.......lets stop the suicide rates, the dads or moms walking away because they feel they have no other choice, lets actually let the non custodial parents without custody have and use their rights. Kids are getting killed because of these issues more than you would even want to imagine because sick individuals think.......no kid no support.......its sick and messed up........but it has happened.......both parents are important lets make it known.......just cause the baby grows inside you.........it doesn't make it any closer to you........because five years down the road it can become a daddy's little girl or boy.......lets be real...........i know i have offended many.....heck im sure i have offended myself.......but i am not sorry. I will be in the near future taking on the system to do my best to pass a bill.......to stop the unfairness in the child support system.....you can either love me or hate me.......either way i can't say that i care.......i am fighting for what everyone hasn't fought for.......those who deserve to be with their kids but due to everyone's expectations, demands, and unfairness they can't always be the parent they once thought they would be......feel free to comment negative or positive or even what you would like to see happen to support either party, either side. The only way it can be fair is to see it through the eyes of both....and thats what i am here for.
reference: 69 boyz, dip http://www.lyricsbox.com/69-boyz-lyrics-the-dip-f536qjb.html
also you all should know i am aware of the typo's and quotations not being in the right spots this isn't about my grammar so don't waste my time with those remarks. As for controversy..........go for it.......i can't help the way i am suppose to without it.
written by fantasy fairy February 6, 2010 at 1:28 am