Legacy and Impact of Loved Ones Departed

Who you are or where you’ve been are meaningless. We are only remembered by those we touch. The day you leave this world people decided who you were. What will be the legacy you leave behind? What is the impact on your relationships?

Relationships with those we meet in life have ranging impact.  The ones that have the most meaning are usually from a close friend or loved one. My experience has been that the heaviest come from those who have moved on from this world. My grandparents molded me into the man I am to this day. It was my grandmother however that left the strongest impact on my life.

I was just turning two years old when I moved in with her. My mother and father were having marital problems. My mother decided that we should move in with her parents. She packed up our belongings and we began the long journey from Delavan, Wisconsin to Ocala, Florida. It was in this new town that I would meet my grandmother and gain the values in life that will always remain.

My grandmother taught me compassion and emotional strength. She was always willing to help others. Even at two in the morning when I was hungry she was there to help. She would go to the kitchen with a smile and make a peanut butter sandwich for me. I’m sure there wasn’t much to talk about with a two year old before the sun rose, but she would entertain my conversations until I was ready to go back to bed. It was her lesson on emotional strength that was the hardest for me to learn.

I had just turned five when my emotions went on a roller coaster. My grandmother who had always been so strong and full of life went into the hospital. She couldn’t breathe let alone move. The doctors said she had emphysema and pneumonia. She was confined to a wheelchair and breathing machines from that point forward. She had gone in and out of several hospitals over the next four years. My grandfather had to work two jobs to help pay for her medical bills. Even with all the new income there still wasn’t enough income to pay for everything she needed. We were under great financial strain in the home, nurses couldn’t be afforded and my grandfather refused to send her to a nursing home.

Nursing homes not being an option developed a new relationship for my grandmother and me. I quickly learned how to take care of her and how to reach emergency services. I could see how it hurt her to watch a little child help her with everyday tasks, but there was no one else there. The day of December 8, 1989 my grandmother was so weak she could not even speak. She signed to me I love you and I said the same. The next morning my grandfather received a phone call. My grandmother had passed away changing my life forever.

The first nine years of my life were a whirlwind. I went from a home with a mother and father in a cold climate to Florida. I met my grandmother who left many happy memories for me. I also learned how important it is to help others even when you don’t want to. My grandmother also taught me how strong I could be even at the young age of five.

I didn’t have much time to live as a child growing up. The loss of my childhood was replaced with valuable lessons that have made me into the man I am today. I believe in the end this was a valuable tradeoff, but I would never wish for another child to endure this. My grandmother left behind the values I hold today. I only hope that I will leave some positive impact on a loved one when I am gone.

~The Fallen Phoenix